Step one: Practice on phones. Avoid doomfire snake.
Be the dot, and remember, Left is left…Right? Correct!

Step 2: ??

Step 3:

Hey I know, let’s make a boss have a Rain of Fire eleventy billion yards wide that ticks theoretically for 7K. Brilliant! At least put some tier 6 tokens on him. Oh you did? ‘Bout fucking time.

As for Archimonde, thank goodness Fear isn’t a raid mechanic where one faction has a perverse advantage over another./sarcasm I mean seriously how many more fear fights are they going to make? We’re taking it up the ass while dwarf and draeni priests ride the lollercoaster.

So uh we worked out a deal with Thrall that he’d get DKP and everything for the kill. Son of a bitch is probably laughing his way to the bank with those shards he made from last week’s loot. I don’t care if he is the leader of the Horde. Lady Sylvanas FTW.

Besides our poor extra Protection tank. Teron seemed to be able to sense that out of all the people to get rid of, the crazy 400 DPS’ing warrior in defense gear was not one of them. Things finally turned around towards the end of the night. Verno pulled out his Two-Handed Epic Wang and convinced Teron he was a force to be reckoned with. Great job this week everyone.

With a wee bit better preparation and an actual full raid this time, we lanced that waterlogged boil at the foot of the temple. Wouldn’t you know it, out sprung purplez.

After that we decided to clear up to Gruuladred the Blue’ener. We walk up killed him and Theexile was all like “WTF where’s Sanguinar? I already popped ‘zerk rage dammit!” We were about to page a GM about our bugged instance when someone noticed this advisor actually dropped loot for once. We’ll take what we can get.

Last but not least we were given a chance to continue onward with one of the most exhilarating solo quests ever picked up in Shadowmoon Valley. Unfortunately Akama pulled a “shadow priest” aggro rip midfight and Johnny’s bubble was down. So we had no other choice but to kill the dam boss before he ripped our poor squishy little “Broken” a new asshole. Gratz everyone on the major progress on our first real night in there.

So there we are ready for one of our trademark first boss kills with only 1 or 2 standing as Hobo heroically charges up moonfiring the crap outta the SOB when he falls to thunderous applause then dissapears. Lo and behold Thrall apparently got sick of helping kill the bitch and never getting DKP so I think he just ninja’d our lewtz and got back some of his repair bill from that night. Ticket started, lets all cheer for the “specialist” that will be looking into our issue.

**Update** The specialist got back to us and apparently went on a long tirade about logfiles or somesuch but his response can be translated easily as…”F U”

Here is Al’s chronicling of the momentous occasion.

So we slipped Winterchill a mickey and he went down pretty quick. He must have been partying with Antheron because the big dreadlord followed up afterwards wanting some sloppy seconds. The entire night no one could see the big metal hand. Dracc swore that he was picked once by it but it turned out to just be Fep giving him mixed signals. Nobody likes a tease.

Hopped into Black Temple for a bit. Missing our only currently keyed hunter we still managed to push Naj’entus to 50% with 24 first try. So why is the start of Black Temple easier than SSC?

Yes the Civil Union was finally annulled and Kael gave back the keys to that nice little flat by the World Tree. Upon hearing this we all stormed Home Depot and demanded that Red make 24 copies of the key. We all hear Rage Winterchill is the “Get 2 beers in her and you can do anything” kind of easy so we eagerly anticipate the upcoming party.

Yes it was a true clash of the titans. Stud had a real Coyote Ugly morning but at least we got purplez from his Beer Goggle adventure. On the serious side of things gratz to everyone on Vashj, we finally stopped sucking.

That’s right everybody! With Solarian dead we’re 501st now in the Continental US. Alaska and Hawaii can go stick it. Your guild progress don’t count! Come join one of the most moderately progressing servers in the cluster. Tell your friends! Come watch us DE loot that the top ranked guilds have been DE’ing for months now.